May 14, 2015

May Is National BBQ Month… Just Remember That You’re Being Judged

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It’s finally outdoor grilling season. Time to fire up the gas, charcoal, or whatever you use for the purpose of charring foodstuffs. But remember, with barbecuing comes great responsibility, and your cooking technique says a lot about you.

This is especially true when it comes to your grill marks. They may seem arbitrary, but your method of applying black lines to your barbecued food could give your outdoor dinner guests some insight into your personality.

What your choice of grill mark technique says about you…


Single lines

You’re a minimalist. Your favorite color is white. You are unadventurous and rarely leave the house… except to step into the backyard to apply boring lines to your grilled foods.

What you apply these grill marks to: Un-marinated chicken breasts, frozen burger patties, and beef hot dogs.



Perfect square grill marks

You’re a perfectionist. You probably eat your peas one at a time. You make seating arrangements… for BBQ parties.

What you apply these grill marks to: Grass-fed organic beef, free-range chicken, and farm-raised salmon.



Diamond Pattern

You’re a risk taker. You purposely color outside of the lines. You own a large impractical vehicle of some kind.

You use your unbridled enthusiasm to apply grill marks to: Large angus steaks, game birds, and exotic vegetables.



Zig-zag mess of grill marks

Please, step away from the grill. You should not be around open flames of any kind. Consider ordering take-out.

Have a great summer, everybody. Just remember that your BBQ guests are watching.

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